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and, like that, I was alive again. The doors of my being reopened, curious about the world, eager for what it might teach me. aliveness, because [of] the realization I get to be me.
like a shadow that never leaves
but with reminders, because of how easily we (I) forget.
Labatut
wu wei
Manchán Magan
Audre Lorde, “eros” -> love from chaos (mystery)
Hometree
sea urchin spines
sea anemone’s touch
Rain falls,
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I was doing a GRE practice test for fun (embarrassing) and the writing prompt reminded me of what seems so fun and interesting about consulting in organizations…
I’ve shied away from the language of “sense-making” but the intuition of art relies on a “sense.” And in response to “why did you do that?” sometimes it feels like the only response is something like, “I don’t know. It just made sense (to me).”
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image text: …just afraid. of committing. something about comics (more than words). when you look at 4 palm trees in a row, gently moving in the wind, softening focus to see all the tips of each of the many leaves moving, it’s almost like a cat purring…the vibration. the tickle of presence and delight, maybe
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- and in saying the thing I think I’m not supposed to say, I realize the limits were set by me
- so then do it, love. say the thing, if only to learn. and do remember to laugh.
- Insights: 1. fear evaporates (at least the fear of regret) if you are willing to see growth and learning. 2. definitions are useful, but must be flexible – we are not static. 3. Color-coding is useful given how I move around a page. 4. wild how relevant Lorde’s reflections on the 60s are today. 5. for now, your fear is losing yourself. remember to look for what is driving and hiding. 6. say the “foolish” thing you long to say. get it out to see what effect light has on it. may shrivel or bloom – hold lightly. 7. seven is a lovely number. 8. as is eight.
- “that is how I learned that if I don’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies of me and eaten alive.” – Audre Lorde, “Learning from the 60s,” pg. 137, Sister Outsider. Yes! But remember it is a working definition…
- MLK Jr.’s “creative maladjustment” but let’s not cast
“schizophrenia” and “neuroticism” as “other” - “we can examine the dangers of an incomplete vision” (pg. 135) IIII “...inevitable confrontation with the question of differences as a creative and necessary force for change” (pg. 135) IIll “Unity implies the coming together of elements which are, to begin with, varied and diverse in their particular natures” (pg. 136) – Audre Lorde, “Learning from the 60s,” Sister Outsider
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Reminders:
- Relief! of paper and pen
- “Get back on the horse”
- wu wei
- internal star (tickle)
- 0 fold, 3 fold [exorcise, organize]
- breathe slow or breathe fast
- seven is a lovely number
- as is eight
now…I had questions –
a) Would putting the mess (evidence) away help? Are you forcing?
b) What are you actually afraid of?
c) When did it begin to feel more frantic?
d) ingredients list or recipe…or something else?
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9. The creative process -> meaning-making! (?)
10. mesquite pods + dried lime peels w/yellow petals